This area bites!

Not only are we anticipating having our neighbor press charges against us because we "run a military flophouse," but my roomies and about 6 of our other friends got a gun pulled on them and had a round fired into the water they were boating in by a mere 10 foot margin! That was Saturday. The guy resisted arrest, apparently. Get me the eff out of here!

The reason my blog's have sucked lately. New Audioslave was blaring at the time of the picture (1:16 AM).  

My first Civic Band concert.

The Pensacola Civic Band

I'm estimating that there were 700-750 people at the park for our concert! Big crowd.

I hate studying.

Things that are cool.

Feel free to help me out. This list is far from complete... but this is the coolest list you've ever seen, that's for sure!

a. Shows.
b. Outlines.
c. Loud music.
d. Large meals.
e. Good smells.
f. Super Troopers
g. Winter sports.
h. Peeling out.
i. Coaster brakes.
j. Aviator sunglasses.
k. Rappelling/falling/jumping.
l. Calvin & Hobbes.
m. Those fly lamps that go, "Bzzzt!"
n. Sliding across the floor with socks. The farther, the cooler.

Maddox

I hate Cameron Diaz is Maddox's latest brilliance. If you're wasting precious minutes of your fleeting life reading this (which you are), you should be reading the above link, you dink, methink. Wink wink.

Toot toot! 

First Concert

I have my first concert with the Pensacola Civic Concert Band tonight at Seville Square (outdoor park). The Mobile, AL band goes on at 7 and us at about 7:45. Look for the lavender tenor. I also play bass in one of the songs!

. 

Tuckered  

out. 

In New Orleans, you can talk anyone into doing anything. Getting down and giving us 50 in a crowded bar, that's our type of humor! 

Ian = gross. 

Fantastic Voyage

I just got back from a weekend in New Orleans with Mark, Kyle, Ian, Keith, Neil/Neal, and Eric. New Orleans...I'll say it again, there is NO other place on earth like it. What a hoot. Hanging with the boys was great. I haven't laughed like I laughed this weekend in too long of a time. I remember the days as a CGA senior when Andy, Tone, Byron, Mark, Cory, etc. etc. would have me in stitches...day in and day out. Every day, I'd be put in hysteria. Between employment, responsibility, quitting drinking, and living in redneckville, those days have stifled a bit. It was good to have hurting abs again.
As always, there's more to tell and no time to tell it.

Again, I have the Sunday blues.

I'm busy; can't write, but a picture's worth ummm....a lot?....of words. This pic.....huhhhh....I'm a secure adult so I guess I can put this one up without shame, you do the math. Plus, I'll be hanging with these cats in New Orleans this weekend; Eff yeah!.

stand by...

hang tight. this week is hell. i'll update you this weekend...hopefully.

An evening in the Arcitc. This could have been at midnight for all I remember. Trust me, though, the weather was not always this alluring; I have pics to prove it. And that IS the edge of the world. 

Really, REALLY expensive science equipment getting 'tended to.' Oops. 

Brrrr. The person that correctly guesses how much the HEALY weighs gets the special prize.

The Arcitc, FL's stupid, trash sorting, band practice, job follow-up.

I meant to include this in my previous blog entitled, ‘I love my job; I love the Coast Guard.’ Here’s the follow-up:

Today I had a band practice with Kyle and Vince. Kyle, a very Danny Carey-esque drummer, and I were stoked to play with Vince because A. Vince kicks ass and B. he’s an open-minded good player. (If you care, ask me how I met Vince; craaaazy!).
So we get done with our practice and Kyle and I start discussing what all rockers discuss after their killer band rehearsals, the environment and recycling’s effects on global warming. This conversation reminded me that I needed to write this follow-up.

The selling point for the high school senior, Jim Cooley, was that the Coast Guard has ‘a peacetime mission.’ i.e. the Coast Guard works all the time…and oh yeah, doesn’t actively kill people! I’ll take ‘The Coast Guard’ for 14 years please, Alex.

Aside from the obvious SAR (search ‘n rescue) mission, you may not know that the Coast Guard works hand-in-hand with NOAA and the National Science Foundation. I’m not sure why (we have the assets they need) and I don’t predict this to be true much longer…but what do I know.

I was on CGC HEALY, one of the 3 ice breakers in Seattle. The HEALY’s primary mission is Science Research. The HEALY sails up to the Arctic every year (for the most part). ‘K, this is where my wordy blog comes full circle: One of the primary studies being conducted in the Arctic is global warming. By analyzing salinity with respect to temperature and depth (among many other things) over a long-ass period of time, science folk are attempting to prove/disprove the global warming theory.

The earth is warming up right now. This could be, however, just the normal cyclical environmental temp increase. Remember the Ice Age? Do we have all that snow and ice still? Hmmm…. That’s right, we could potentially be on the positive slope of the climate sine curve. Maybe not though! Here’s why Florida, a 20-year-behind-every-other-state state, should refuckingcycle! I’m going to give precautionary measures (recycling) a coefficient of 2 on the ‘inconvenience scale.’ Loosing the planet to laziness, time/money, and lack of smarts gets a coefficient of 10 on the ‘holy shit, we’re messing up our future, our home, and our reality as we know it’ scale!

(stepping off the soap box…carefully; it’s slippery!)

The HEALY takes mad scientists up north to try to figure all this mess out. Cool. Since I was fortunate enough to have a chain of command trust my 22-year-old ass in driving the HEALY, my decision to join the CG was/is validated; I drove a ship that enabled scientists to see what’s happening to our planet. Through the Transitive Property of Addition, I helped investigate our planet’s problems. How great is that?! I love my job.



By the way, VT-2 Doerbirds is my new squadron and where I'll be spending the next 6 months.

Salty, on the rocks, so to speak. Inadvertent peace sign.

Who are you?!

Sasquatch sent me another comment: "Your starting to look like the Sasquatch........ you no King of the Mammals! Just another brick in your house of lies! "

Who the deuce are you? I hope me publishing your comments (though anyone can read them anyway) encourages more! I'm a roast, baste me.

William Shatner's Has Been is great.

Before today. 

After today. 

Trouble with a capital 'T' that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for pool.

As well as taking this ridiculous test, apparently next week gets more tedious and time-consuming; LOTS of memorization. To top it off, Keith, David, and I may be getting into trouble. I'll know the verdict on Monday but today the words 'kicked out of flight school' were mentioned to us. Allegations are bogus so I'm not sweating it, so don't you sweat it. My thesis is that I'm thankful you read this but spare me some time to get these confound ducks in a row!

FYI: the flophouse - a home for losers

Zac rules.

Zac is a long time friend from NY. Check out his robot! Click the link. Zac, can your robot finish my fretless bass?...joking...

Jim gets an F+ at blogging this week.

i have a test on friday on the 23 chapters we learned from tues - thur! it's on the ins and outs of the T-34C airplane that i'll fly in 2.5 weeks.

listen to my new songs. ch-ch-check the link to the right.

Yes, our futures are that bright. Sunglasses necessary at all times. 

He must work out. 

Oooohhhriiight, Mark. 

Mfph, mfph. Who did that?! 

There's Bun Bun that Mark lined up for Ian to tow past. Ian managed to give us the finger while he hung on and tried to avoid the rabbit. We laughed ourselves to the boat deck. 

Bun Bun, the carrion that ruined Ian's tow. 

Ass-early AM. 

Weekend and a half - Clearwater style.

In San Juan, Puerto Rico, I once went to an hour and half long happy hour. Fellow CGA classmates and best friends Mark, Byron, and I rocked The Bee Gees and Neil Diamond for 90 minutes. Upon conclusion, Byron gleefully exclaimed, "That was a Happy Hour and a half!" Mark and I drunkenly laughed ourselves into a frenzy.


On Friday, Ian and darted down to Clearwater, FL where Mark is from. 8 hours later, we were in paradise with my bud from all the way back to Swab Summer. The trio joined Mark’s attractive sister, Sonya, and his attractive sister’s BF, Justin, a great guy who owns a Dave Mustaine-like Jackson guitar.

We got denied entrance to some dance club that didn’t allow people named Ian Hall to wear open-towed flops inside the joint. That sentence was poorly formed, sorry. We drove to Ybor City. Wow. Ybor got an ‘A’ two nights in a row! The guys got wasted and we partied hard. There is more to tell, but like my New Orleans post, ask me for the details. Saturday night was slightly hostile, however. Some drunkard started a fight with me (which I avoided). Whatever man, you win… A little after 3 is apparently when Fight Club started. Two additional fights broke out in the streets. The second ended with arrests! Yaaaayy!

We stopped at some greasy spoon joint at 4 am. Mmmhmmmm. We got home close to 5 each night. Eff yeah! The guys tried to talk me into drinking this weekend but it worked out REALLY well not having to worry about rides/cabs and such.

Saturday was full of fun in the sun. Mark’s pops owns a boat, a fast one! We went wake boarding. Well…everyone else went wake boarding while I tried, failed, and got dragged around in the water for a while. That was a blast, thanks Mark.

Ian, Mark, and I stood in a line and put sun screen on each other’s backs in the middle of hundreds at the beach on Sunday. Again, whatever.

Clearwater = beautiful scenery + fun. The weekend = aforementioned + great companionship = A+.

I have the post-fun-weekend blues something fierce right now. Primary blows. I need to know a lot more than I know right now in a short amount of time. It will happen, but I wish I were in Clearwater right now.

These are 3 plants in my front yard showing the entire Spring cycle, individually, right now! 

BOOIIINNNGG! 

POOF! 

Starts all over. 

Open Mic Setlist

Here’s what I just played at an Open Mic I bombed at. I played well but to a shitty crowd.

Stand By Me
Wicked Game – Chris Isaak
My Way – Sinatra
Hurt – NIN
Sitting on the Dock of the Bay
Creep – Radiohead
Butterfly - Weezer

Team Tom Ridge! These are the cats that I was smoking and joking with for 6 weeks of API. Back corner, by the window, always. 

Everything has a Coefficient.

All my decisions are based on less than and greater than problems. Each factor in the problem has a coefficient. The factor that wins > factor with smaller coefficient. Next decision! I reckon that all my mistakes are a result of my shirking the aforementioned process. No >/< problem, no calculated decision -> probable mistake. By adding coefficients to EVERYTHING, I will usually do the right thing.

Here’s an example:

Should I mow the lawn today?

(-1)Mowing the lawn < (3)Preserving harmony and friendship

I mow the lawn because David, homeowner, wants it mowed and the benefits of mowing (harmony, etc.) (3) weigh more than me not wanting to mow the lawn (-1).

INXS's 'Kick' hides my cell phone

I was just treating myself to driving my truck. The commuter (Honda Civic) isn't comfortable and all 4 speakers are blown, badly. I had INXS's 'Kick' blarring in my truck's system. If you have a system, play that album loudly on it. I didn't notice my 3 phone calls all on full volume and vibrate. Thump thump!

Sky's the limit....badum bum ........cricket...cricket... .

My friends

Myspace.com Yeah yeah yeah. So I'm addicted to myspace. BUUUUUUT!, Henry Rollins and Les Claypool are now my friends! I'm going to go put in Nadasurf's 'Popular.'

Galactic. Jazz Fest. 

The Roots at the Jazz Fest.  

New Orleans Jazz Fest

I went to New Orleans the last two weekends. What a city. There is NO place even remotely similar to New Orleans. The highlights or hi-lites or however that's spelled were Fishbone and The Roots.
1.5 years ago, my Seattle roomie, Jessica and I saw Fishbone. She stage dove twice, the second time knocking over the guitarist's wireless setup forcing the band to stop... for the night! She then, somefreak'nhow, convinced the drummer to sign a drum stick for me.
THE ROOTS!....The Roots, The Roots, The Roots! I have not shut up about these guys. I knew that they played their own instruments but who knew they played them well?! The bassist did a killer solo. The drummer has a sweet/unique style. Oh hey, how do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. The Roots did about a 25 minute medley of covers ranging from Zeppelin, to Salt 'n Peppa/Pepper, Nirvana, Black Sabbath, Outkast, that brother/sister 2-person new crap band, to a very humorous Blue Oyster Cult 'I need more cowbell' rendition. The bassist took a drink break mid-show by tapping his straw plastic off and drinking a cute juice box; too funny. This band has talent, style, originality, and a whole hellofalotta showmanship! I can't wait to see them again.

Last weekend's bands worth mentioning were Kidd Jordan - Al Fielder & IAQ, The Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Galactic, and Dave Matthews Band. The first group played free jazz (I guess that's what you call it). A piano, drum set, bass, tenor sax, and trumpet played whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. There were no "songs" and no real communication between musicians. It was complete chaos! I was surprised with this elder group's tolerance for entropy. I guess 40 years of Glen Miller will do that to a man. I have never seen an audience refresh and recycle so frequent. People couldn't tolerate this at all. I ate up all 40 minutes, no breaks.
My expectations for Galactic were exceeded. Buy their albums now, over.
This was my first DMB viewing. Eh....they're a great band, but _______. I guess it's not a good thing when my attention deviates from the band to check out the HH-65 Coast Guard Dolphin flying overhead. Don't get me wrong, DMB rocked. They played many older songs and really got the crowd wrapped around their finger.

I have Bourbon Street stories. They aren't appropriate to publish here and I want to assure you that there is nothing bad that I was directly involved in, just what I saw. If you're curious, call me and I'll elaborate.

New Orleans got an 'A' last weekend.

Thief of time

I was just reading about multitasking. Apparently, pilots need to excel at this. Our Welcome to Primary Day 1 speeches scared me a bit. I....AM......TERRIBLE.......AT........MULTITASKING. I read how to improve this. I already listen to tons of music...check! Another suggestion was to practice individual tasks until mastery. This is very similar to Les Claypool's answer when asked, 'Is it difficult to play and sing Tommy The Cat?' The layperson would answer 'yes.' Les, however, responded by claiming to practice the bass parts until the point where he could play and converse simultaneously. The playing part is then brainless. Then, sing. So hot damn! Les Claypool is helping me become a better pilot!
Also, it is suggested that I don't multitask. Don't juggle, bowl, but bowl faster. I could conceivably fool my flight instructor by single-tasking fast!

My original, bass playing musical inspiration, Les Claypool... a long time ago. 

Provideniya, Russia on the HEALY's Arcitic deployment last summer. Yes, I am that salty.
 

Force divided by mass.

I’m sorry. This blog is posted because I’m a ‘J’ on the MBTI scale. I need closure in my life. Because I wanted to blog about the last 2 weeks of API and it made my mental ‘To Do’ list, it has to get done. There is a lot to tell but I’m just not into it right now. Besides, Neptunus Lex is one of the best blogger sites I’ve seen. I linked his blog in my previous entry. The particular link I quoted describes the hellish Helo Dunker. The author, Lex, is an accomplished Naval Aviator and instructor; IM-PRESSIVE resume. He has some great stories, articulates very well and in great style, and has a link to another blog site entitled, ‘A Small Victory: The Gentle Art of Making Enemies.’ This title contains two Faith No More song titles; first being my favorite song. So, between the two guys, there’s more cool than I can handle.

My point is that I’m going to finish my song & dance about API but if you want to upgrade your reading, ch- ch- check out the above links, over.

Acceleration is intense. Some fellow students, that I annoyingly like to call ‘Shipmates,’ will fly fighter jets….ZOOOM! These jets endure intense G-forces. My Coast Guard helicopter will not. It is this reason that I thought, ‘Fiddle sticks! If I were a Marine (“Yulk yulk! Combat!”), I’d be able to fly these fast airplanes. That would be fun.’ Then, Mr. Reality smacked my dome and I realized I was completely out of my mind.
Focus, Jim.
Okay, G-forces... We watched countless videos of pilots enduring a set G-load and either perform the ‘Hick’ / ‘Hook’ maneuvers successfully, or the pilot passed out within seconds. When pilots pass out, they’re 16 lb. head falls HARD and does the “Funky Chicken.” The “Funky Chicken” is characteristic of flapping arms (cleverly named, like a chicken) as a reaction to the falling backward sensation of being unconscious. It’s both funny and scary to watch.
The ‘Hick’ maneuver is dubbed so because of the sound one makes in order to keep blood in his/her brain. The pilot tenses their toes, calves, thighs, abdominal muscles, and all other muscles while breathing in quickly, say ‘Hiii’ to prevent any air from escaping, tensing….tensing….., ‘cksss’ (exhale), and quickly breathe in again FAST! It’s interesting to watch someone perform this correctly. It’s loud, they’re face is usually red, and they look terribly untoiletconfortable.
When someone is on the verge of unconsciousness, their vision usually closes in, like a tunnel. When I donated blood years back, a similar thing happened after sitting upright. Periphereal vision completely went away as the tunnel closed in, graying out. Like pilots experiencing G-lose of consciousness, I had about 3-5 seconds between when I recognized it and when the lights went out. Health and fitness greatly determine one’s G tolerance.

The last portion of API that is noteworthy is the parachute ‘hoist.’ I put ‘hoist’ in quotes because of the comical process the Navy has established to hoist their students.
We all meet at field in Alabama. Wind determines the direction of take-off.
There I was, harnessed to the parachute, standing in a cue at one end of the field. Hmmm, where does this white rope fastened to the front of my harness go?.....oh that’s right, TO THE BACK OF THE F150 100 yards ahead of me!!! That’s correct, when ‘ol boy standing next to me calls, ‘Go go go!’ on the radio, I heard the V8 rev to at least 5,500 RPM’s and the voice in my helmet radio instructs, “Now you run. And keep running until instructed otherwise.” You bet your ass I ran. Really though, you could out-run the slack in the rope long enough to fill the chute with air. No biggy. Before I knew it, I was airborne, grabbing my rear risers (the straps connecting me with that big, colored pillow case keeping me aloft) and preparing myself for landing. There is a specific technique to landing so’s to keep us kids from breaking bones. Many students would freak out and try to brace for impact by spreading their legs and putting their hands out. Bad idea. Knees and wrists don’t stand a chance. Students are kept tied up to the truck on ride #1. Ride #2, however, the truck cuts the rope and we were free to fall at the mercy of our weight, the winds, and luck. I had quite the gust that pulled me higher than others (so I’ve been told). It certainly looked like that way from my standpoint. I’d guess that I got up to 175 feet. This training day was a perfect case of The Amusement Park Ride Apprehension Syndrome. I was distressed prior to the ride and of course, as anticipated, had a hoot. But seriously…..getting pulled behind a truck?!!!